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The Four Monogamies (Which Ones Matter To You?)
What is monogamy? Judging from the length of the Wikipedia entry, that’s not a simple question to answer. Yet monogamy is a fundamentally assumed aspect of relationships in our culture, a starting...
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How to Talk to Your Monsters
We all want stuff in our relationships. Better sex. More sex. To not have to take the trash out. 15 extra minutes in the morning for snuggles. Whatever. Let’s assume you know what you want. Why aren’t...
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Are You Letting Yourself Get What You Want?
I see this way too often: A couple loves each other. They communicate pretty well. Sex has been hot before. But something’s just not… going right. You want to make your partner writhe with pleasure,...
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What Do I Do When I’m A Maybe?
Several years ago, I co-founded a touch-and-communication workshop called Cuddle Party. In it, we have rules that say that if you’re a yes, say Yes. If you’re a no, say No. And if you’re a maybe, say...
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How to Have a Good Time, Even At The Most Painfully Awkward Party You’ve Ever...
A few weeks ago, I was at a birthday party that would easily win the award for “Awkward Social Event of 2013″. It was a tiny event, with only about 16 people, from two different social circles, and a...
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The AFWYW Guide to Holiday Sanity (In 4 Easy-ish Steps)
The Donner Party. The threatening hordes. The family hurricane. The microscope parade. What do these words have in common? They’re all terms I’ve heard my clients use in the past week, referring to...
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16 Ways to Talk About Consent (That Are Pretty Sexy…)
Here’s a stack of wonderful ways to check in with your partner, to find out more of what they want, and to communicate your own desires. Try some today! “Do you like when I…?” “I like when you…” “Will...
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12 Ways To Say No Gracefully (Without Saying “Maybe Later”)
Grace: (n)simple elegance or refinement of movement; courteous goodwill. We all want connection. Saying no can feel terrifying, especially if you are afraid of losing connection with someone you care...
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8 Ways to Hear a No Gracefully
The more you ask for what you want in your intimate life and daily life, the more you’re likely to hear both yesses and nos. Rejection can sting, but there’s also an opportunity to build connection...
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New Year, New You?
New Year New You? That’s what all the advertisements say right now. It’s a new year, you should lose weight. It’s a new year, you should make more money. It’s a new year, it’s time to finally find a...
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21 Things to Stop Tolerating This Year
So we’re a few weeks into the new year, and by now your goals/resolutions/intentions are either sticking, or they’re not. If they are, great! Gold stars all around! If they’re not, it might be because...
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Self-Care Is Not Optional
“Do you know the difference between indulgence and self care?” I looked into her tear-stained face. “No,” she said. “My whole life, it’s been about working my ass off, and then, when it gets to be too...
View ArticleI’d Rather Be Crazy
“What’s worse? Looking jealous or crazy? Jealous or crazy? Or like, being walked all over lately, walked all over lately, I’d rather be crazy.” This lyric from Beyonce’s album Lemonade (which she...
View ArticleGive Yourself a Pat on the Back
Whether this year has been awful or glorious, messy or tidy, full of heartbreak or full of love, I hope you give yourself a pat on the back this week. One of my most important annual rituals is making...
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Embodiment for Brainiacs – An Interview with Leela Sinha
Desire. Bodies. Feelings. Pleasure. Some of us look at these things with a skeptical eye. Others run screaming in the other direction. For a lot of us, phrases like “Listen to your intuition,” “Trust...
View Article2 Sentences to Break Through Social Awkwardness and Have a Good Time
A few weeks ago, I was at a birthday party that would e [...] The post 2 Sentences to Break Through Social Awkwardness and Have a Good Time appeared first on Asking for What You Want.
View ArticleWhat I mean when I talk about love is…
Love is confusing. It’s messy and unpredictable and wil [...] The post What I mean when I talk about love is… appeared first on Asking for What You Want.
View ArticleGenerosity vs Self-Sacrifice
I originally sent this out as a newsletter, and it got [...] The post Generosity vs Self-Sacrifice appeared first on Asking for What You Want.
View ArticleNew Year, New You?
New Year New You? That’s what all the advertisements s [...] The post New Year, New You? appeared first on Asking for What You Want.
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